Definitions Deconstructed

Isn't it Laconic

S. G. Lacey

Definition:

A style of speaking or writing that uses only a few words, often to express complex thoughts and ideas. [REF]

Deconstruction:

This word’s origin stems directly from Laconia, a region of Greece where Sparta was the capital starting in 650 BC. In these ancient challenging times of limited resources and frequent conflict, there were many reasons to be terse in all elements of life.

Proficient quickness of leadership during military activities. Simple demonstration of the complex topics which defines the stoic philosophy. Sarcastic rebuttal to an overconfident combatant in debate. This last application is still incredible relevant to this day.

Concise, to the point, conversation has been used by humans for millennia. With a smaller vocabulary, fewer social interactions, and a focus on clarity, isolated societies throughout history from Cro-Magnons to Vikings to Cowboys have utilized pithy banter.

The Spartans of yore, who controlled Laconia for nearly 300 hard-fought years, were so efficient in their witty interactions that this succinct mode of communication became part of modern lexicon. It’s not hard to debate that in this era of blatant oversharing we should probably shift back towards those simpler times. [REF]

Below are some of the cleverest, most relevant, examples of documented laconic sayings.

Military:

Human civilization has been shaped, settled, and scarred by military engagement. This is both a feature and a bug of homo sapiens’ perpetual desired to survive and strive. From troop management to treaty manipulation, having a concise line of communication is critical. As such, armies throughout history have resorted to clear modes of communique to align and engage troops. Here are a few terse examples which occurred well before the era of headline television news and wireless radio communication.

“With it or on it.”

Spartan Women – 500 BC

Mothers and wives of Sparta sent their sons and husbands off to war with this simple blessing. Essentially, these young men could only return home holding their shield high in victory, or lying atop it as a form of makeshift coffin. Such sentiments were common throughout Laconia in this harsh era epitomized by warfare. Women were highly respected in Spartan society, as it was acknowledged they were responsible for bringing the required next generation of male warriors into the world. [REF]

“Unconditional surrender.”

Ulysses S. Grant – February 16th, 1862

Just a year into the Civil War, Union General Ulysses S. Grant earned his stripes, with a resounding victory at Ft. Donelson in Tennessee. His 25k troops were able to surround the fort, trapping over 12k opposing soldiers inside. In negotiations with Confederate General Simon Bolivar, a former classmate at West Point, Grant said he would accept nothing less than the “unconditional surrender” of the enemy.

While the official letter to his former colleague was longer than 2 words, written in the typical verbose style which dictated many letters of this era, the intended message was clear. This direct and unapologetic approach came to define General U.S. Grant’s image for the remainder of the Civil War, and beyond in his political career. Thus, his adopted initials became relevant in several ways. [REF]

Sports:

Athletes have a way of condensing complex game action into simple interview quips. Granted, these talented individuals are paid to perform on the field, as opposed to in the media room. Recent camera and microphone technology has enabled the capture of athletes in their natural environment, spewing jokes, commentary, and expletives at will. However, some participants have been sticking their foot in their mouth, both physically and metaphorically, long before the era of on-field surveillance.

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Yogi Berra – July 31st, 1973

It’s easy to come up with short statements if you remove important words, or expel elements which make no sense when combined. However, to turn confusion into clarity is a true skill. There is one individual known for this ability. The real question is whether these insights are inspirational or imbecilic. Either way, everyone loves, and hates, Yogi Berra.

This specific quip debatably occurred in mid-summer, after the New York Mets squad he was managing lost yet another bout, dropping them 11.5 games out of 1st place in the N.L. East. However, there is no direct documentation of this exact wording being uttered by Yogi at the time, and it wasn’t until nearly a decade later that this now ubiquitous commentary giving sports long shots hope and rally caps purpose was officially memorialized in writing. The likely reason this saying has stuck is because it was so prescient; the Mets rallied that fall to win the National League Pennant, before losing the World Series.

Puns, word play, and irony define the multitude of sayings which Yogi Berra is known for. While it’s debatable how much Yogi realized the hilarity of his ways, there’s clearly some laconic genetics in his past. It’s plausible enough to link genealogy from the ancient Greek to the modern Italians. [REF]

“Playoffs?”

Jim Mora – November 25th, 2001

This viral rant shows how a single word can summarize an entire team’s attitude and performance. Heat of the moment pressure is the best way to elicit candid responses from individuals, which often come in the form of brutal honesty. This Mora outburst is a perfect example. Occurring well before social media was prevalent, this hilarious explosion still lives in online infamy.

In the 11th week of the NFL season, after loosing the game which dropped the highly touted Indianapolis Colts record down to 4 and 6, Coach Mora had a meltdown on the interview podium. In addition to blasting young quarterback Peyton Manning for the 4 interceptions he threw, the most famous response came in the form of the playoff potential incredulity, which remains valid meme today. Ironically, Mora was fired after this season, and never won a playoff game in his 15-year NFL head coaching career. Meanwhile, the Colts went on to 9 straight playoff appearances, after swapping out Jim Mora for Tony Dungy at the helm. [REF]

Politics:

Politicians are rarely known for their wit, or honesty, especially these days. Often when addressing their minions, leaders use concise communication, sometimes deft and sometimes daft. Administration propaganda and laconic verbiage are inextricably linked throughout history, especially in times of societal strife. As rampant tweeting, and micro-second attention spans, become more prevalent, the necessity to, and opportunity of, being terse have become more important. The motivation to, and benefits of, being factual have unfortunately become less important.

“Keep calm and carry on.”

British Ministry of Information – 1939

This saying has been manipulated and copied so many different ways that most are unaware of the saying’s origin. As the inevitability of World War II became realized, the British government used this signage campaign to build morale and keep the public calm in the face of increasingly frequent air raid in London and other major cities. In recent years, starting with the poster’s rediscovery in 2000, this historical message has been modified for all manner of hilarious applications, from t-shirts to coffee mugs. [REF]

“Whatever it takes.”

Mario Draghi – July 26th, 2012

While not well known to most Americans, this single verbal utterance potentially saved the splintering Euro currency at the time, and has defined monetary policy throughout the world over the past decade. These three words were articulated by Mario Draghi, the President of the European Central Bank, during an unrehearsed speech in London, UK, where the Summer Olympiad was scheduled to start in less than a month. Spoken from the heart, in true central planning fashion, a simple statement has been taken as gospel, and sparked all manner of speculation, since the day it was delivered.

Ironically, the very economic union which Draghi saved exactly a decade ago is now facing its most difficult threat since then. With Mario Draghi having just resigned as Prime Minister of Italy, it seems everything is coming full circle, and another unwavering monetary commitment may be needed. [REF]

Entertainment:

The term one-liner originated in the comedic context. From banter with your friends over beers, to quotable motion picture blockbusters, laconic execution tends to increase the laughable moments. There are numerous movie quotes which are seared into our minds, based on their succinct verbiage, classic delivery, and plot relevance. These famous lines have shifted from a mundane text on a film’s script to full immersion into the societal lexicon.

“These go to 11!”

Christopher Guest – March 2nd, 1984

It takes a combination of an absurd plot and goofy acting to achieve true comedic brilliance. In this regard, following the fictional British heavy metal band Spinal Tap, composed of actors who are all musicians in real life, around a disastrous concert tour across America, offers a perfect palette. It’s hard to beat a good mockumentary, and this is film debatably invented the style.

When asked why not just increase the power of the amp on the #10 setting, the response is obvious, as least for Nigel Tufnel, who demonstrates throughout the movie that he is clearly the dumbest member of the ragtag group. Laconic execution relies on complete surprise and deadpan delivery.

The entire premise of this movie, from the “Smell the Glove” album title to the absurdity of the band’s outfits, is focused on pure entertainment. While the amp description is the most memorable single line, there’s plenty of other gems in this funny film. [REF]

“I'll be back.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger – October 26th, 1984

Not much context is needed here, especially for those of a certain age. The Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 cyborg which Schwarzenegger is portraying, with dark sunglasses covering his mangled eye socket, delivers this guttural, deadpan line to a distracted desk officer, the returns moments later, crashing a car through the exterior wall, then mowing down nearly everyone in the police station. The original Terminator film was transformational in the industry, incorporating innovations in visual special effects with a futuristic plot. This was a brilliant combination for luring in moviegoers, and cemented Arnold’s place in acting history.

This original statement still rings true today, as the Terminator franchise lives on, with the most recent release in 2019. In all 6 of these films some version of this iconic, laconic saying is executed by one of the main characters. Good luck trying to figure out what order to watch these time-transcended films. [REF]

Memes:

Human’s creativity knows no bounds. The only problem is that we don’t always focus our efforts on the most productive tasks. Memes, which often contain a visual element to supplement the words, allow additional depth of information to be communicated in a very concise format. Curiously, modern memes often reference iconic cultural memories, like funny photos or viral videos, thus keeping experiences from the past alive while adding a new twist. With the perpetual global electronic linkage offered by cell phones, this mocking content can spread incredibly rapidly. Below are two of the countless recently invented sayings with are now ingrained in modern society. For better or worse.

“Netflix and chill.”

NoFaceNina – January 21st, 2009

Originally executed as a Twitter post status, after a long day one young lady signaled to her followers she was going to pass out in front of the TV for the night. This sentiment sums up a trend in society, one that has only been amplified by the global pandemic, which forced many individuals to stay sheltered in their homes for over a year. The original version has branched out to a diverse range of comedic adages, as most things do through the connectivity of the modern internet.

However, this saying, and many others of similar ilk, have taken on a much more nuanced meaning, used throughout colleges and across the dating landscape, often in the form of a discrete text message. A suggestive inuendo for casual sex.

As with many cyberspace sensations, verbiage and meaning have changed over time. The one trend amongst these maxims, which range from rudimentary to racy, is how many technology companies have been turned into verbs. It’s clear that these industry names, many completely made-up using portmanteaus, amalgamations, or simply a random collection of letters, have now consolidated a broad range of activities into a single word. The true definition of laconic. [REF]

“OK Boomer.”

Reddit Forum – January 29th, 2009

This amusing saying sums up the ongoing clash between the two largest generational cohorts in the United States: Baby Boomers and Millennials. Is this a question or a statement? A concession or a rebuttal? That’s the intricacy of laconic phrases; their meaning is based on context and interpretation.

Surprisingly, this seemingly innocent banter has been used for Democratic demonstration, Presidential posturing, and even in Supreme Court cases. Unsurprisingly, the entrainment industry has capitalized on this volatile topic, in all manner of popular songs and shows. While there is an overt joking element to this sentiment, it’s clear that the fissure between the old and young in America is wide, and growing. [REF]

While simple but effective verbal laconic rebuttals are rare, modern electronic society has come up with an even more terse mode of communication. Emojis. These small pictures, instantly transferred over ubiquitous cell phones, are able to convey pretty much any feeling, emotion, or sentiment without any words, but with decided precision. We’ve come a long way from the days of perpetual conflict in territorial Greece, with cryptic messages communicated across the battlefield by homing pigeons.

The laconic spirit was articulated over 2.5 millennium ago by the Spartans. To this day, fate and luck continue to conspire; terse phrases and ironic experiences repeating with surprising frequency and relevance.

Appropriately, the subtle title of this post provides a final laconic execution. Musicians must be deft and efficient with their lyrics, while also matching the background melody. The 1990’s personified a period of clear recognizable text layered over a soothing medley of notes. Thus, Alanis Morissette’s hit song from 1996 still rings true.

“It's like rain, on your wedding day.

It's a free ride, when you've already paid.

It's the good advice, that you just didn't take.

And who would've thought, it figures.”

Details:

Comparison of Spartan and Scottish wit throughout history. [REF]
The popular movie “300” describes the Battle of Thermopylae, which occurred in 480 BC, with several interesting laconic interactions occurring during this conflict. [REF]
50 famous movie quotes, many of which are short and laced with hidden meaning in the context of the film’s plot. [REF]
Very diverse list with images highlighting the 100 best memes of all time. How many do you get? [REF]
The full lyrics to Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”, for those who don’t already have this song seared into their memory banks. [REF]